October 22, 2006

Sodomy in Savannah!

Sexual Predators in Action

NY Times report that several rape cases have been filed against African bull elephants after they decided to sate their "animal" thirst by raping female rhinos!!!. The article adds that atleast 63 rhinos have been recently found raped and killed by these marauding bulls!. The killing, persumably, was to eliminate evidence (no one ever accused elephants of being dumb!).

I never imagined a female rhino to be a frail, vulnerable creature or a male rhinocerous to be a helpless slob who is unable to protect his partner from being dis-honoured, but i guess the difference is in the perspective!!

The article makes no mention of similar incidents involving giraffes, i imagine they have so far escaped the tragic fate due to the higher positioning of their strategic assets!. However, i would request any female giraffe who reads this blog to be careful lest the shortest among you be one day ravaged by a taller than usual elephant!

The article suggests (in an oblique way!) that the authorities are trying to keep quiet on the incidents to ward off any potential decline in tourist inflows. Assumning rhinocerous do not usually take vacaions (i could be wrong here) that would only mean Human tourists!!. Ghosh, i can only imaine the horrendous implications!!!!

When i reached the concerned parties, the Rhino association condemned the brutal acts of violence and requested death penalty for the rapists. However, YBEA (young bull elephants association) called for restraint while advocating detailed studies to get to the truth. They also claimed that several incidents were actually cases of consensual relationship but was classfied as rape by jealous male rhino's.

Interestingly, the warden of the game park denied occurence of such acts. His argument being that his wife,who looks like a rhino, has never faced any amoral advances from elephants. However, one of his juniors, who for obvious reasons didnt want to be named, dismisses that argument saying that elephants (even when mad with lust) have some taste and class!

So if any female (from rhino to humans) chances across this blog, i request them not to go for that African safari untill the rapists are brought to justice. In case, you do not wish to be terrorized to surrender your lifestyle, i suggest a bottle of Vaseline while making the trip!


Disclaimer: I guess i have to add a disclaimer here. All the events, except the original article cited, are figments of my rather fertile imagination. The article does talk about elephants raping and killing rhino's but it is a scholarly article on human-elephant conflict and related stress-induced behaviour by elephants. Highly recommend the article. Visiting Africa is absolutely safe!!!!!.


Sarin said...

gosh... how disconcerting! :-)

Matter of Choice said...

yep...one should keep imaginations on hold :)

Anonymous said...

This was hilarious!!!! =))

Matter of Choice said...

thankx anon

Jiby said...

anish, when is the next post coming up man...thank you very much for the good wishes and yumbeeye tips. wish you a very happy and successful 2007 where you make up for all those personal losses gone thru in 06. good luck!

Fleiger said...

"Stress induced behaviour"? Hmm...

Lucky that doesn't happen in India (we too have elephants, right?) Looks like, like Indians, Indian elephants can handle the stress better than others ;)

you prat ! said...

ROFL. very fertile imagination indeed :P

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